There's no I in team, but there's a U in cunt.

Cant believe i just fucking linked you to this page. I no youl go back to her...We prolly wont be friends, not until you realise what youve done and felt some form if guilt and felt ashamed for making someone suffer like that...just the other night you made me feel like a fuckwit and like i was no good...you did miss out on a chunk of my life, one you'll never know the full extent of, but ive come out of it as a better person, a person that will probably never let anyone in again. I dont understand how soul mates work. She tore my soul out that day. Do souls reform? will mine become a different shape that doesnt fit into hers anymore?

FUCK.

I wanna hold your hand.

So i think i am happy?all by myself, i am happy. And i just want to rub it into everyone that i dislikes faces ha. But when i think like that, i start to think that maybe i am just faking happy. Im nervous because she comes home soon, i dont want that, im seriously scared that it will just take me back and disolve all the work i have done. I think i have grown in a short amount of time, all by losing a few people from my life.

Ive been watching Twilight on dvd for the last few days (i keep falling asleep) I am still undecided whether i'd prefer to be Edward or have an Edward in my life.

I'd like to meet new people i think. But sometimes i just can not put in the effort, you know? it take a lot. blahblahblah.

Eh im going to drop some things off to a friend in the city tonight, wish i had someone to come with me on the drive...maybe hold hands some.

O and i also feel the need to buy new perfume or scent because i feel like a new person, kinda. Any ideas?

Let this be my annual reminder that we can all be something bigger

I found a nervous smile on my face last night when i realized someone had read my blog! I am quite lamely excitable, especially when a blog gets written about your blog...lol.

Im not sure if i am the only one out there, but i really don't like the six degrees of seperation! And how sites such as facebook and myspace show mutual friends.

xx!

I remember you and me, in the Orchard.

Seeing as I have made a deal with myself to never, ever go out in Richmond again, i have spent the majority of the long weekend at my home. The problem with being at home is that your mind starts to wonder to things that it should not, because their is not too much to distract you. One question I did find myself asking was, why do i feel embarrassed that I got betrayed and cheated on? I feel not only betrayed by the person I loved but by people i thought were my friends... By logic shouldnt it be the cheaters who feel ashamed?they've totally turned by life upside down in the most horrible way imaginable. Does this kind of feeling just happen to me or do others feel this as well? One day, i will sit down and write out my story, but for now i will leave it, its still to fresh. But I would like to say right now and I hope it gets back to her in some way (but it wont) that she may be your girl now, but, she still tells me every day how she loves me, and this may not be true, she could just be wanting me to fuck her, because at least i can make her come!ah ok, lets leave it at that for now...

Seeing as the Hawkesbury is a no-go zone, I ventured into sydney for Thursday night drunkeness, we went to Arq, the problem with arq is the huge amount of gay men.that.is.all. I`ll also be heading there tomorrow night.ha. I have really channelled my hate for this town over the last week and will possibly be making an art work for the residence to admire 'cause "stay classy Richmond" If all goes well it will be in prime position for the saturday night drop kicks to view, and very much not understand...

I met a guy the other night, I told him i worked as an orange picker...which is funny because when i think of love i think of an orange or even a grape vinyard.

I am quite sure i have more to say right now, something more intellectual and constructive but it isnt going to happen at the moment.

It is going to be a long Winter.

I want her to ask me out for coffee and a walk. I want to know her. She interest me.
It would be good if we could have this view also.

An empty bed is the reflection of an empty life.

I feel different. If this had happened this time last year I wouldn't of coped. That said, i am not really sure if this is coping. I'm not even sure i want to talk about it as yet.
Right now i just crave being near people.
Right now i have a wanting to meet someone that will proudly have a photo of me in their wallet =]

I lack the ability to become close to people, it's not that i don't want to its that i don't know how, almost as if i have nothing to offer, and maybe i don't - well didn't, but now i am not so sure, i hope that my confidence and sense of me will flow back into me.

I'm scared of weekdays.

-Sunday St. John